Counseling News

Talking With Your Kids About Drugs
From Healthier You Website

Don't put off talking to your children about alcohol and other drugs. As early as fourth grade, kids worry about pressures to try drugs. School programs alone aren't enough. Parents must become involved, but most parents aren't sure how to tell their children about drugs.

Open communication is one of the most effective tools you can use in helping your child avoid drug use. Talking freely and really listening shows children that they mean a great deal to you.

Visit www.healthieryou.com to learn more about What to say, How to say it, and How to tell if your child is using drugs.

Learning to Listen: The First Step to Good Communication
By Barbara Kollmar

Active listening is the first step to good communication. When we engage with another person in conversation, most of us are already formulating our response as we listen to another person talk. In doing so, we miss really hearing the other person and being fully present in the moment. The following points can help us learn to listen:

• Really focus on the other person. When you notice your mind beginning to wander or to formulate your response, remind yourself to fully pay attention to what the other person is saying.
• Listen more than you talk. Listen for any meaning underneath the actual words you are hearing.
• Watch for non-verbal messages; what is the tone of voice or the body language saying? Is it congruent with the words? What non-verbal messages are you giving? If you are only half-way listening, there is a good chance your body language will reflect that.
• Clarify as needed. If you hear something that doesn't make sense or you don't understand, ask. Don't assume that you understand correctly if you feel confused.
• Paraphrase and reflect back as appropriate - ask, "It sounds as though you're saying.... - am I understanding correctly?"
• Don't rush to fill silence or pauses. Many of us feel uncomfortable when there is a silence and we rush to jump in to fill it. Silence can be a way of collecting our thoughts or emphasizing a point.
• Try to keep the tone positive - defensiveness, irritation, or criticism virtually never foster good communication.
• As the conversation draws to a close, summarize any points that you want to emphasize. This is a great opportunity to wrap things up in a positive manner.