August 2025:

Adam’s Gift

Fourteen years ago, I was in rabbinical school when my youngest brother, Adam, ended his own life. He was only 20 years old.

Adam was born when I was 16, and so my relationship with him was one where I helped to raise him. While he was my brother, the bond didn’t have the typical dynamics of siblings born in the same generation or from the same parents. He was my father’s son from his second marriage; I was the oldest child from my father’s first marriage. I rocked him to sleep, changed his diapers, helped him with homework, and took him shopping for school clothes. In some ways, he was the child I would never have.

His loss was soul-ripping. I was blessed with teachers, fellow students, friends, and family who helped me survive the loss. It was in that first year that I decided to pursue chaplaincy in addition to my rabbinic studies. It was surreal, but there I was—grieving his loss and training as a chaplain, doing my field hours at Mount Sinai Hospital in California. That year I completed one unit of the Clinical Pastoral Education required to serve as a chaplain. I would receive the three additional units needed after I was ordained as a rabbi and after the death of my father five years later.

Fourteen years later, I have worked as a rabbi and chaplain at Veterans Affairs in Seattle, Seattle Children’s Hospital, Evergreen Hospice, Signature Hospice, and recently as the Portland Jewish Community Chaplain. All of this happened because that is where my grief and healing led me—that is how I chose to grow through my pain. In my ten years of experience, I have learned so much, and I have enormous gratitude for my teachers, colleagues, clients, friends, and my amazing family.

Rabbi Harold Kushner, who wrote the book Why Bad Things Happen to Good People, spoke about the loss of his son. I remember a particular passage that has stayed with me all these years. Whenever he was able to help someone because of the lessons he learned through the grief he survived, he would, after leaving, immediately thank his son.

The Jewish Community Chaplain position was created through a partnership between the Oregon Board of Rabbis and the Jewish Federation of Greater Portland. It has been supported by individuals, the Jewish community, Jewish organizations, and in particular, Jewish Family & Child Service. It has benefitted hospitals, synagogues, facilities, families, and individuals—especially those who are unaffiliated but identify as Jewish. The need for its services has only grown, and so it is with great pride that I announce Nehamah: Jewish Chaplain Services.

Nehamah is a nonprofit that expands on the services offered by the Jewish Community Chaplain. It will continue to provide individual spiritual care in hospitals, facilities, and homes. It will expand support groups, offering them at Congregation Neveh Shalom, Congregation Beth Israel, the Eastside Jewish Commons, and the Mittleman Jewish Community Center. It will continue to bring holiday experiences (Hanukkah, Passover, and Shabbat) to facilities and senior living centers. It will broaden community outreach and educational programming, including panel discussions and community vigils. It will also deepen its partnerships with Jewish organizations, helping to create a network of care that reaches further, heals deeper, and transforms more lives.

Nehamah is grateful for all the support that Jewish Family & Child Service, the Jewish Federation of Greater Portland, the Oregon Board of Rabbis, and the Jewish community at large have given toward the development and formation of this new venture. We look forward to working together.

For myself, I must thank Adam. I will miss him always, and I will carry the blessing of his memory forward. Everything I learned to give, I learned because there was no other way to fill the chasm of grief he left behind. That chasm is filled now—a wellspring from which I draw, the source of knowledge and compassion that enables me to comfort those in need. The well is the gift of love that remains when the grief subsides.

Nehamah will launch September 1, 2025.
For more information, please visit Nehamah.org or contact us at (503) 877-NJCS (6527).

Rabbi Sarah Rensin

Contact:
Jewish Chaplain Services
Phone: (503) 877-NJCS (6527)
Email: rabbirensin@nehamah.org
Website: www.nehamah.org

To read past blog posts, visit the Rabbi Rensin Corner archive here.